embedded in my skin
by cyclothimic
Summary: "You know, there's never an explanation in science on what happens when you miss someone. Scientists never found an answer. The chemical reactions that occur in our brains when we miss someone are completely random. It's individualistic. And I used to think that was bollocks." [part 3 of Quake series]


**part 3. so it kind of follow the plot of the show but it kind of doesn't. you'll know what i mean.**

* * *

_it's cold and you feel alive_

_you turn your breath to mist_

_and she laughs before pressing a quick kiss to flushed cheeks_

_it's the first time you feel it again_

* * *

Skye missed it. She missed the hallways. She missed the guns. She missed the goggles. She missed the labs. She missed her bunk. She missed the almost nightly gatherings they had in the lounge. She missed the bad movies. She missed them all.

She just hadn't realized how much she actually missed all of these until she found herself in the bunk she used to live in.

It had been little more than a year since she ran away and now here she was, and her stuff was still there. She took in the photos she'd taped to the wall, the Captain America merchandise on her bedside table, the alarm clock in the shape of her bus that Fitz had built for her, the Pooh Bear bed sheets, the throw pillow that was _hers_ and the framed photo of her and Jemma on her bedside table.

She sat on her bed and reached for the frame. It was taken two weeks after she'd woken up from being gut shot by Quinn. She'd regained her strength and she thought a selfie with her doctor would kind of lighten the mood. And it did.

In the photo, Jemma was smiling and blushing. She was blushing because Skye was kissing her on her cheek. It was just a snap-of-the-moment thing. Just before she pressed on the shutter, Skye had had the impulse to kiss Jemma on the cheek and so she did.

She smiled down at it sadly and traced her fingers over Jemma's face before replacing it on her bedside table. She stood up and opened her wardrobe. Her clothes that she hadn't managed pack up last year were still there, hanging on the hangers and folded in the compartments. Neat and tidy.

"Hey." She pivoted around and saw Coulson resting against her door panel, arms crossed and tie loose. He had a solemn and somewhat awkward look on his face. She couldn't blame him. They hadn't talked in more than one year. "How're you feeling?"

She swallowed and sat back down on her bed gingerly, not sure what to say or do. Gosh, they used to be so slick and close. They used to have banter and share wit without much trouble. And now they couldn't even say anything without being awkward.

"Skye?"

"Great," she replied, smiling up at him. "Jemma's certainly not gone rusty."

He offered a tiny quirk of his lips and pushed away from the door. "You're welcome to use the facilities here. Anything you need, you just ask. I'm sure we can make it happen."

She fought the wince from making its appearance on her face. "Okay," she whispered with a nod. He nodded again and took a step back. They shared looks for a second and then he walked away with a barely there sigh.

She was a stranger now. She was _welcomed_ to use their facilities. She had to _ask_ for anything she needed. She was no longer a part of them.

And that may be the one thing that hurt the most about this whole thing.

* * *

She'd got off the phone with Lincoln when Jemma strutted in, holding a tablet and frowning down at it, wearing those adorable science-y goggles of hers. She obviously hadn't noticed Skye sitting at what used to be her desk because she was muttering science jargon to herself and jotting notes in her tablet.

Skye closed her mouth, deciding to let Jemma do her thing and she should do hers. The sooner she got it done, the sooner she could leave. The sooner she left, the sooner she could get away from being a complete stranger in the place she knew so well.

She typed in a few lines of codes, trying to trace Bobbi, Hunter and Mack's locations. Most likely, they could all be in the same place. Skye still found it fishy. Bobbi and Mack always seemed like really nice people, despite the fact that Mack wanted her killed just a year ago, and not that she could blame him. Skye thought that they must have had a reason they thought was _right_.

She pulled up the feed for the past three months, attempting to detect any weird behavior from the both of them during the three months.

"Oh my god, _Skye_!" She jumped. She cursed when she realized she just typed in a line of unidentifiable code into her laptop and quickly erased it, resetting the progress. "When the hell did you get here?"

Skye turned to Jemma, her fingers still nimbly over her keyboard. "I haven't slept," she claimed. She turned back to her laptop, her eyes watching three video feeds at a time. She jumped again when she felt a finger on her arm. Jemma was glaring at her through her goggles. "What?"

"What do you mean you haven't slept?" Jemma snapped.

Skye shrugged and widened her eyes in an it's-obvious way. "I mean I haven't slept," she said.

Jemma cocked her hip and lifted her goggles to comb back her hair. "You mean you haven't slept since I discharged you?" Skye nodded. Jemma scoffed, throwing her head back for a moment before wrapping her fingers around Skye's forearm, pulling her up forcefully. "You're coming with me."

"Hey!" She stumbled after Jemma and regained her footing, matching Jemma's short but hurried pace. "I still haven't finished back there!" Jemma was quiet as she led her down the hallways, past the bustle of anonymous crew. "Where are you taking me?"

Jemma stopped in front of her bunk so abruptly that Skye knocked into her, almost toppling them over. But Skye, with her quick reflexes, steadied them both by encircling her arm around Jemma and planting her foot on the ground.

Skye's knees almost weakened and she almost melted as her brain registered the feeling of having Jemma in her arms after so long. Skye inadvertently inclined her head, leaning her nose against the side of Jemma's head, breathing in her scent and closing her eyes. She couldn't let go.

Jemma probably had the same notion because she stayed where she was. Skye could hear her labored respiration and feel the violent thumping of her heart against her chest, beating to the skin of Skye's arm around her.

After god knows how long, Jemma finally whispered, "You need to sleep, Skye."

Skye hummed, unwilling to speak.

Jemma touched her forearm lightly. "You're injured and you need to let yourself heal."

Skye hummed again. Her eyes remained closed. She could sleep right here, right now. Standing right here with Jemma engulfed in her embrace, she could just fall asleep.

The biochemist expelled a helpless chuckle. "One year later and Patient Skye is still so stubborn."

"It's what you love about me." Skye expected Jemma to tense and remove herself once the words came out of her lips.

But unexpectedly, Jemma relaxed more, as if she was powerless to the situation. "It is," Jemma whispered.

Skye opened her eyes slowly. She tightened her embrace and nuzzled deeper into Jemma's hair. "I'll sleep on one condition," she said.

"Anything."

"Sleep with me."

Jemma jumped away, as expected. And Skye released a giggle. She hadn't giggled in so long. Jemma's cheeks were flushed red and her hands were fumbling as she rambled on about the inappropriateness of that request and she should be ashamed.

"Jemma," Skye interjected. Jemma stopped, still blushing red hot. "I didn't mean have sex. I mean _sleep_. Lie in bed and fall asleep with me."

"I have a job," Jemma pathetically claimed.

"So do I."

"It's ur-"

"Jemma," Skye interjected again. Jemma was starting to look displeased at being interjected more than once. "Fitz told me you haven't been sleeping well." Jemma looked downwards. "We both could use some rest." Skye sounded serious this time.

Skye waited for Jemma to contemplate whatever she needed to contemplate. If it was before, Skye would have just pulled her into her bunk and forced to lie on the bed next to her. But this was now. This was one year after she left. This was an all-new frozen territory. Skye was going to ease up to it gently.

"Okay."

Skye opened the door and let Jemma go in first.

* * *

She turned and saw Jemma placing a cup of piping hot coffee next to her laptop. In a hurry, she moved her laptop away from the scalding liquid and stared at the biochemist incredulously. Jemma scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Jemma, I built this machine with my bare hands. It is a treasure. You do not just put coffee right next to it with the risk of it spilling over," Skye ranted and made a protective gesture to her laptop. And then she took the cup and took an appreciative sip. "Thank you though."

Jemma exuded a reluctant smile and sat next to Skye on the couch. "I can't help but realized you were gone when I woke up."

Skye hummed and put down the coffee a safe distance away from her laptop. "Yeah, I just wanted to hurry this up and find them quickly."

Jemma made an agreeable sound and leaned closer – not over Skye's personal place but not too far either. "How'd you sleep?"

Skye looked away from her screen and grinned genuinely at Jemma. "Best sleep I've had in a year," she said. "Honest to god."

"Yeah?" Skye nodded. "I feel the same."

Skye's grin broadened. "Yeah?" Jemma nodded. "I'm glad." They remained eye contact for a long time. And then Skye's grin dimmed for a bit. "You haven't slept well in a year?"

Jemma mirrored her facial expression and looked away. She reached up to scratch the side of her head and cleared her throat. "Not since you left," she admitted. A pang of guilt hit Skye right in the chest. She leaned back from her laptop and moved on the couch to face Jemma. "No, please don't say you're sorry."

"I-"

Jemma held up a hand. She then presented Skye with a sad smile. "I missed you."

Skye licked her lips. "I missed you too."

"You know, there's never an explanation in science on what happens when you miss someone. Scientists never found an answer. The chemical reactions that occur in our brains when we miss someone are completely random. It's individualistic. And I used to think that was bollocks. I always thought there _must_ have been an answer to everything: even something as simple and complicated as missing someone." Jemma stopped and pulled in a deep breath. She then met Skye's eyes. "I think I finally understand what they meant after this year."

"Jemma-"

"Don't," Jemma snapped, sounding sterner than she probably meant. The woman winced and pinched the bridge of her nose hard. "Don't," she repeated, softer. "I'm sorry I yelled at you two months ago. I was-"

An alarming beep rang from her laptop and they both started. Skye jerked her eyes towards her laptop screen and could barely believe her eyes.

"I found them."

* * *

Skye was pretty sure the Playground had never been so busy. Men and women were bustling about, holding folders and documents, shouting across the distance and whispering into phones. New crew, old crew, they were all head to head, debating their respective points of views.

It had been approximately five hours since they've ambushed the aircraft carrier. They were terribly outmanned, but Skye made the liberty of calling in the reinforcements of her other team.

"You're kidding," Phyllis deadpanned, low and quiet.

Skye closed her eyes. She'd expected this when she made the call. "Please, Phyllis."

Phyllis radiated a sarcastic snigger across the line. "You're asking us to ambush a high-technology, government-issued, SHIELD-based aircraft carrier in the middle of the goddamn ocean," she listed calmly, but Skye knew she was the opposite of calm. "Like I said, you're _kidding_."

"Phyllis, just this once, can you help me?" Skye begged. "Look, you guys are my family, I know. But these people, they're my family too. And like it or not, they're more my family than you guys will ever be. But as a family, I'm asking you to help me. I'll owe you one."

"It's too dangerous."

"_Phyllis_."

Silence stretched out for possibly fifteen minutes. And then she heard Phyllis sighed and she grinned. "I just want you to know that you're fucking crazy."

"Thank you. I love you."

"Yeah, yeah."

Five hours later, here they were. Coulson and May were cooped up in his office with the other SHIELD's leaders. Fitz and Mack were in Mack's medical pod, shouting at each other. Hunter had dragged Bobbi somewhere unknown and Skye didn't even want to think what they were up to.

Skye headed into the lounge to see her other team all there, scattered across the room. Dong-Hoon whistled when she entered the room.

"This is quite a base, Skye," he said with an impressed grin.

Skye grinned and snatched the bottle of beer he was nursing away from him, downing it in one gulp. "You haven't seen nothing yet," she said as she tossed the empty bottle in the trash.

She squished herself on the armchair next to Lincoln. Lincoln only rolled his eyes and patted his knees. She gladly sat herself on his lap.

"Hey," Phyllis snapped playfully. Skye winked at her and leaned back against Lincoln's chest. Phyllis shook her head and smiled. "So how are things out there?"

"Chaotic." Skye sighed. "Thank you for doing this, guys."

Gina nodded. "You coming home with us?"

Skye stared into the air as she considered her options. Her job was done. She'd found Bobbi and Hunter and Mack. She'd done her part and by right, it was time for her to leave. After all, she had no place in this place anymore. One year was too long to be gone. Everything had changed.

"Hey." Lincoln nudged her on her shoulder. She looked back to him. "It's your choice. We're not forcing you."

"But you should know that you'll always have a home with us," Phyllis finished for him.

She smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

They bantered for awhile, throwing pop corns at each other and insulting one another. And suddenly they all quieted down. They were all staring at the entrance. Skye turned back to see Jemma awkwardly standing there with a doubtful look on her face.

Skye stood up from Lincoln's lap and stared at the woman. "Hey," she greeted lamely. Raina rolled her eyes.

Jemma smiled. "Can we talk?"

Skye nodded. "Sure." She then directed her next words to her team, "I'll be back."

She followed Jemma down the hallways, past dozens of people and into the gym. Jemma locked the door behind them and sagged back against it. Skye stood in the middle of the sparring mat.

"Your team has impressive camaraderie," Jemma commented after a long moment of quiet.

Skye smiled proudly. "They're amazing."

Jemma nodded and cleared her throat. "Will you be leaving?"

Skye's smile vanished. She rocked back on her feet and proceeded to sit down on the workout bench. And then she shrugged.

"You can't do that," Jemma whispered, her voice almost painful.

"What?"

Jemma squeezed her eyes shut. "You can't just _shrug_ and pretend this is a menial matter." Skye's jaw dropped. She blinked and stammered. "I'm sorry I yelled at you two months ago." Jemma opened her eyes. "You left because you think you were endangering us."

"I was," Skye replied matter-of-factly.

"Skye," Jemma admonished tiredly. She groaned and reached to tuck her hair behind her ear. "As much as I'd like to say that we could've helped you, I now know that we couldn't have." She smiled sadly. "We don't know anything about your kind. I spent the first three months basically carving your DNA into my brain and I still can't understand one bit of it. So yeah, maybe you running away were a good thing. I'm glad you found…those people. They seemed like really nice people. I'm glad that you found a family in them." Her voice cracked.

"Jemma, you guys are my family too," Skye quickly said. "It's not wrong to have two."

"No, it's not. And it's _good_. But…you left for a year, Skye," she drifted off. "We just…None of us know how to communicate with you anymore. You've changed. I've changed. We've _all _changed. Coulson _offered_ the facilities in this place like you're a stranger, for god's sake."

"What are you trying to say?" Skye cut in. She couldn't bear any more of Jemma's talk because damn it, she _knew_.

Jemma stared at Skye for awhile. "The last fourteen months have been _hell_ for me. I craved your presence like I need air, especially after I saw you again two months ago. Now you're back, even if it's just two days. This craving is somewhat gone. But I know I'll crave you more if you leave. And I need to prepare myself if you do. So you _need_ to tell me if you're leaving again. And if you do, I don't want you to say 'hi' to me when we meet again maybe another year later."

Skye supposed Jemma didn't realize she had walked towards her until they were only few feet apart during her ramble because Jemma stumbled back with an inaudible gasp. Skye also supposed Jemma was right. It wasn't fair to anyone of them.

"I don't belong here anymore," she finally said. Jemma's face fell. "But I'd very much like to," Skye added. Jemma looked hopeful. Skye ran a shaky hand through her hair. "I'm not staying here."

"Make a _decision_, Skye," Jemma gritted.

"I love you," she blurted. Jemma's eyes widened. Skye smiled. "I think I forgot to tell you that since I came back here but…I love you. I have never loved anyone as much I love you. I'm pretty damn sure I can't love anyone as much I love you."

Jemma shook her head and began to step back, step by step. She was denying Skye's words. "Don't do this."

Skye stood and rushed forward to stop Jemma from walking backwards anymore. She leaned forward and looked Jemma in the eye. "Listen to me." Jemma stopped, her eyes moist. "I belong with Lincoln and Phyllis and the rest of them now. However, if Coulson will allow it, I'll come here twice a week. Maybe we can work something out and we can work together. I don't know. I just…I know in my heart that I can't bear to be apart from you. I crave you like I need air too." Skye licked her lips and frowned. "Is that enough for you?"

She almost leaped in joy when Jemma finally nodded. "It's enough for me."

But Skye only grinned and cried. She then planted her lips upon Jemma's for the first time.

It felt like coming home.

* * *

**there will be more. i promise.**


End file.
